When I am working with clients, invariably we always run into items that have emotional attachment and are kept for sentimental reasons. These are usually the most difficult to part with. They fall into the category of emotional clutter. Stuff that clutters your life, that weighs you down, that takes energy to manage. This is the toughest kind!
It isn’t that we can’t keep some things that are sentimental to us. We can. It’s the stuff that we DO keep, most often than not, isn’t kept in a manner or place that honors its importance and sentimental value. And so, why keep it if we are not looking at it, taking care of it and really – if it’s stuff that may be weighing us down emotionally that we can part with?
Maybe you have a box full of your ex’s letters, gifts and photos? Or you have a bunch of stuffed animals or clothes from childhood? Or someone dear to you left you a piece (s) of furniture that you don’t like but you keep just because it was his or hers? I know what you are thinking!
“It’s too hard to let go of and I couldn’t possibly live without it”
“I will miss it”
“I will keep it no matter what”
“But it was a gift”
Yes, we should keep some things that document our past and even those of our loved ones. But that doesn’t mean we need to keep everything! As a Professional Organizer, I don’t recommend that you keep everything you are attached to or was given to you. Instead, I like to assist my clients in creating limits with whatever it may be.
In my former lifetime as a former pack-rat/ keeper of emotional clutter, I used to be like most of the people I help today. After all, I’m a Cancer, and we are notorious for being collectors and very easily attached to possessions whether they are sentimental or not. As a child this manifested itself over and over and over again and I never threw anything away without a fit. I recall the many struggles my mother had with me to let go of things that no longer served me. She had to fight me on everything as I had a reason and excuse to keep all that I owned. It didn’t matter that most of it was insignificant to my quality of life and that I barely used any of it. I was attached to everything simply because it was there in front of me!
EX: My favorite bathing suit didn’t fit me anymore, but I kept it because it was my favorite and first one! It reminded me of the summers I spent learning to swim in our neighborhood pool. I have plenty of photos of myself in that suit and all I have to do to recall it, is to look at the photo albums and even just recall the mental image I carry of it. I remember it all. I don’t need the suit. I was the witness to those memories of those summers by the pool. I carry those with me always in my mind and my heart.
To keep myself in check, about every 3 months or so, I go through Purge-Fests (as I call them). I go through my closets, drawers, cabinets and other areas, and I take stock of what I have and what I can do without. After all, I have limits myself and I still want to feel there is available and unoccupied space in every place.
Last year, as I approached turning 30 and thought about this significant birthday, I felt it would be good for me to enter this new decade a little lighter by taking another look at my bins with keepsakes. I felt could I let go of more than I had done in the last Purge-Fest and go through the items I still have that were in storage bins. I knew there was stuff in there that I didn’t need to keep. I couldn’t remember half of it. I have attempted this before but this time I did what I couldn’t do the last time around. I purged items that I am emotionally attached to. Yes, you heard me right. Even me, a Professional Organizer has to do these things. AND, more importantly, I asked someone for help. Someone to be hold my hand (so to speak), to be there when it was tough to make decisions about what to keep and what to go, someone to hold the space for me to do what I needed to do. Letting go of emotional clutter isn’t easy and especially not alone. This is what I do for my clients, among other things. I needed someone to help me with my process even though I know how to do this with my eyes closed.
As I went through these bins, I came across remnants of my childhood. This was what I have the hardest time letting go of. My stuffed animals, my books, some notebooks from school, things my grandmother gave me, etc. These are those that tug at your heart and make you think you can’t let go. But I did and you can. I only kept the items I truly loved and I that I felt would serve me in the future, I have one small bin for keepsakes, one for miscellaneous decorations, another for seasonal decorations and one for seasonal clothes. (See photos below)
I hope this helps make it easier for you to take the first step of your journey of letting go of clutter, emotional or otherwise. If you need someone to hold you hand, I can be of help.
